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As I sit here after
finishing my second to last day of school, waiting for my family to come home
(school had an early dismissal today), I find myself reflecting over the last
year of my life. I am flooded with
a variety of emotions. These
emotions have motivated me to write down my thoughts so here it goes…
One year ago today
I admit that I was feeling frustrated, scared, nervous, anxious, angry,
excited, and doubtful. One year
ago today I was packing up my classroom in Bemidji in anticipation of our big
move back to the Frazee area. Each
box that I packed, I had wondered if I was making the right decision. One year ago today I was saying
good-bye to my students that I had over the past seven years and wondering if
I’d forget about them, their names, their families, and their unique
personalities. One year ago today
I was shedding tears with my colleagues as I was receiving numerous hugs and
well wishes. Questions would fly
through my mind…Would I meet new colleagues that I loved as much as them? Would I be missed? Would I be accepted at my new
school? Will I ever come
back? Would I ever be hired back
if I did want to come back? Am I
going to like it at my new school?
Am I going to bond with these new kids and families as much as I have in
Bemidji? Am I going to like the
curriculum and grade change? Will
I be an outsider in a small town that is, ironically, my hometown? Now, one year later, I sit here
reflecting this past year of my life and I can confidently say that it has been
a tough year but filled with a lot of professional and personal growth.
As for those
questions that would go through my mind…I wish I could say that I have answers
to all of them but I honestly don’t.
Does that mean I am unhappy with this new chapter in my life…absolutely
not. What it does mean is that I
have more growing, learning, adjusting, and living to do. I have done a lot of praying that the
good Lord knows what he is doing with my family and me. It is certainly freeing to know that I
can put all of this in His hands and let Him take care of it for me.
Today I am feeling
anxious, excited, proud, eager, passionate, and loved. I love that I can come home every night
to a husband and daughter who love me unconditionally. I love that my family is just a short
drive down the road. I love that
my students have grown into little learners who enjoy school and have developed
a love for reading and learning. I
love that my daughter enjoys her daycare.
I love that I have met new people in my life. And I love that I have people whom I care about in Bemidji
that I am still able to keep in touch with and see from time to time. Change isn’t always a bad thing. There are two roads we can choose in
life- positive or negative. It is
up to us which road we want to travel on.
I am determined to choose the positive road through life. It’s not going to always be easy but
that’s okay. Easy isn’t always
better either. Life is good...it’s
not easy but it’s good!
